Make no mistake – parenting after a separation is difficult. It is just one of the many challenges facing couples after a divorce orany type of split, particularly an acrimonious one. However, there are some things that you can do to make it easier.
Julie-Ann Harris is an accredited specialist with Resolution, the national organisation of family lawyers. They are committed to non-confrontational divorce, separation and all other family matters. She is also a qualified mediator and head of our Family Team. She says “If you can put aside any feelings of resentment and co-parent your children together they will feel secure and loved by both parents, and adjust more quickly to the fact that their parents live apart. Your own feelings must take a back seat to your children’s needs; this is probably the hardest part of learning to work and co-parent effectively. .”
Communication is the key – if your child hears negative things about their other parent it will make them feel they have to choose one parent over the other. It is not advisable to use your child to deliver messages between you – it has the potential to put them in the middle of your conflict. The goal is to keep them out of your relationship issues, even if you may be feeling bitter and resentful about the break up.
Keeping a clear line of communication between you as parents whether that is frequent face to face meetings or telephone conversation will show the children that you and their other parent present a united front. This can be very difficult in the early stages of divorce or separation, but will hopefully get easier over time.
Please get in touch if you are separating and need our help. For a free initial meeting please call 01202 499255 and Julie-Ann or a member of the Family Team will be happy to discuss any questions that you may have.